Hello lovely followers!
So long story short: I’m completely stressed out financially (I’ve had to move back home in order to live basically). My student loan payments are bleeding me dry and even though I work practically every day of the week, I only end up getting to keep…
Stagnancy is what you make of it, or better, stagnancy is what you let happen. No one forces anyone to be stagnant.
I’ve felt it. I’ve felt it in art, in life, in attempting to be a grownup. What happens when I feel this way? I get out. Out of my head, out of my home, just out. One of the most difficult things to deal with when depressed, anxious or otherwise feeling paralyzed, is that first push. That initial lift off the couch or the step out the front door. That can be the longest part of a journey, just getting out of the cave, be it one of your mind or one of your environment. However, it’s the most important. It doesn’t have to be a monumental step however. It doesn’t have to be a strenuous task.
Think of the term you’re using. “Stagnant”. That’s a term for water that’s left still, possibly blocked up by an obstruction in a stream. The hardest part of getting that water moving is the removal of that blockage. Stones, sticks, dirt in the way. Prying the largest branch from what is impeding that flow is nearly impossible with all of it’s detritus around it. However, pulling out the pebbles, the mush, the lighter debris, starts a trickle. A trickle starts a pour, and eventually, the water is pushing through on it’s own, the pressure and momentum causing the blockage to disperse.
This is the way in which the stagnancy can change to flow.
There was a moment in my past where I remember being on the couch, I was in a terrible mood and in a deep slump. I had to look at my foot, raised up on the couch, and I had to will it onto the ground. I had to concentrate on the feeling of putting skin to floor and taking note of the solid clap. I rested for a beat and let that reverberate through me. I swung my other leg over and pivoted. I took another beat, another breath. In the most preposterous self-absorbed way this was agonizing. Booth feet on the floor, I rested, took a breath, exhaled and got up.
Standing. What next? Over to the door. And then? Get outside. Now? Walk.
Those first two inconsequential movements. Feet on the floor, standing up. They might as well been trying to move arthritic joints. But once those small efforts had been undertaken, once the pebbles were moved, the momentum grew and I began to move. I walked around the block. I breathed calmly. It was a very small but very meaningful victory.
You allow yourself to feel how you will feel. You may choose how you let yourself become or remain stagnant. Emotions do not control you, you control them. They are not reality, they are not objective, they are an interpretation. If you feel trapped, still, stagnant, take a small step. Something to move you out of the environment which has encoded a mood upon you. Change your environment, even temporarily, and you will change your mood.
Keep moving. First steps. Small steps. They are the most important.
Stop apologizing for the things you enjoy eating.
Stop apologizing for the things you enjoy wearing.
Stop apologizing for how you prefer to spend your day.
Stop apologizing for the things that make you happy.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE PLAYER CIRCLEJERK EVERYONE ELSE CAN GO HOME
Vel’Koz is a nice guy. Please be gentle with him. =)
This is so dumb even Willy Wonka would be like “ok yeah guys let’s tone it down”.